Nerds and How I Associate

As I sat in the cafeteria, waiting for my next class as I sometimes do, I noticed a boy with red shoes. A baby face etched lightly with the signs of growing maturity. At least in age, for I do not know his personality nor his mind frame. He is surrounded by, what I would assume, could be considered the nerds. People I tend to surround myself with. The kind who can appreciate a good game of D&D, who can compare video games, and possibly understand computers at an above average level. The kind of group who lacks a female, and would possibly fear the idea of one becoming part of the group. I would usually go up to them and discuss a game or two. Today is a different day. I almost find myself incapable of confronting them. I have enjoyed being able to refer to myself as a nerd. Sadly I haven't played any games or discussed related topics in such a long time. I almost fear the I will be rejected by the ones I can relate to the most.

Popularity is still a big factor in social lives, even in college. I have grown to become one of the popular compared to when I was younger. I was like them in a way. Considered weird, pushed to the side, yet comfortable with my small handful of friends. I was always a social and outgoing person and I pride myself on this quality. I have made many friends since my younger days and I have gained the title so highly wished for throughout junior high and high school. I had become popular, but not the kind that was instantly given through sports, blond hair, and dating the coolest guy in school. I got it from being able to go into any group and relate. I fit in everywhere, was social to a high, and enjoyed the party scene. Even as I first began college, I became the party scene. I threw parties, told everyone about parties, and became a sort of source to even strangers of where to go on saturday nights even if I wasn't attending. I knew plenty of DJs and had my connections with the right people. I still do, I am just no longer in constant contact with them since I've moved away.

So now, being placed as the new kid again, knowing that I would do well with just about anyone I meet, I still fear going over to the table. I fear the awkwardness or the fact that they may laugh at my not as current knowledge of games. This of course would not actually happen. I have learned the older you get, the more accepting certain groups will be. Especially the nerds. So I did go up to them. I sat down, realized I already had a crush on a handful, talked for a long while before my class and time flew. I even returned after my class was over and was once again faced with the boy with red shoes. He had a lisp, and I couldn't think him cuter. Classic in almost every way, a little shy, but still willing to be social if approached first. I had finally found a group of friends in this large place I had not been a part of for years. I was happy, and that is all that mattered.